Synopsis

For twenty years, Miss Fothersgill has been working for the Ministry of Defence as a special investigator into reports of extra-terrestrial activity. Beneath her prim exterior she is madly in love with her boss, the pompous and stuffy Mr Devine.

The distant planet of Syrenius, led by their powerful chief Villandra, is populated only by women who reproduce by parthenogenesis. Neville is a camp, gay, techno-phobic alien from the planet Venturius, who is forced to make an emergency landing on Syrenius when his spacecraft breaks down. Adopted by the Syrenians, he has become one of the girls. But the Syrenian birth rate is falling. It is ten years since a child was born, and Villandra reluctantly decides that they need to abduct a real red-blooded man from another planet.

Jed is a cool young lad-about-town with a casual approach to girls. His friend Bobby is quite the opposite, hopelessly inept and lacking in confidence. One night at their local pub, when Jed goes off with his latest conquest and Bobby has failed, yet again, in his chat-up attempts, Bobby is left on his own. There are strange whirring noises and flashing lights dart across the darkened stage. The aliens beckon an entranced Bobby towards their spacecraft.

Bobby wakes up on Syrenius surrounded by young women plying him with fruit and wine. He is puzzled by their attentions but captivated by the beautiful Zisha. He also befriends the precocious Omi, the last Syrenian child to be born.

Back on Earth, Miss Fothersgill, weary and suffering from a cold, visits the pub to investigate reports of alien activity. She fails to pick up any of the clues, but meets the bartender, George, who is kind to her.

Slow on the uptake, Bobby feels increasingly threatened by all the advances. When he fails to live up to expectations, the scheming and malicious Daggrish reports back to Villandra. Guided by the Writings of the Ancient Syrenians, Villandra decides that Bobby must be disposed of in a Ritual Sacrifice, where he will be given a lethal potion to drink.

Zisha and Neville plot to save Bobby. Zisha begins to think she may be in love with Bobby ("Can This Be Love"). They drug the wine at the Ritual Sacrifice celebrations, but there is a mix-up and Zisha gets drugged too. Daggrish, who overheard their plot, has plans of her own to kill Bobby. Act 1 ends as Daggrish raises a knife to plunge into Bobby as he lies, unconscious, on the sacrificial altar.

Act 2 begins in the pub with George telling his life story in song ("George's Song"). Jed is chatting up a new girl when his current girlfriend appears, and both girls pour their drinks over him and flounce off together. As he sits there dripping, Bobby appears, in a highly confused state. Bobby tells Jed his story. Jed is highly entertained but sceptical.

On Syrenius, Villandra holds court to discover how Bobby escaped. She learns to her amazement that Neville and Omi between them piloted the spacecraft that returned Bobby to Earth, with Omi doing most of the work, as Neville was so terrified. Villandra orders both Zisha and Neville to be placed in solitary confinement but before he goes down, Neville pleads for love and tolerance in song.

Bobby and Zisha sing of their love for each other across the universe ("You Were Everything").

Mr Devine finally pushes Miss Fothersgill too far when he introduces his 'bit of fluff', a young typist in the department, and Miss Fothersgill resigns and storms out.

On Syrenius, Daggrish is still fuming over Bobby's escape ("No Mercy"). Meanwhile on earth, Miss Fothersgill finds herself drawn to the pub, where she pours out her sorrows to George over a few drinks, and loses her inhibitions in a song and dance ("No Spring Chicken"). She ends up falling into George's arms, and they fall in love.

Meanwhile, Villandra, swayed by Neville's plea for tolerance, has had a change of heart ("Show Me The Way"). As George and Miss Fothersgill finish singing, the Syrenians re-appear. Jed cannot believe his luck as he is surrounded by beautiful young aliens intent on having their way with him. Bobby and Zisha are re-united.

Copyright © C.I.Buchanan / R.E.Good 2005/6

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